Savage Love Live stormed into Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon. Comedian Corina Lucas absolutely killed it before our sold-out crowd, singer-songwriter Elisabeth Pixley-Fink performed an amazing set, and two lovely couples competed in our first (and most likely last) Mama Bird Cupcake Eating Contest. I wasn’t able to get to all of the audience-submitted questions, so I’m going to power through as many as I can in this week’s column.
A: If it’s casual for them and not casual for you, and they’ve made it clear it will never be anything other than casual for them, you’re going to get hurt—which I suspect you know. Now, if you think the pain of going without sex with them will be greater than the pain you’ll feel when they inevitably meet someone else and move on, by all means keep fucking them. (Spoiler: the pain of the latter > the pain of the former.)
A: Studies vary. Some have found it takes the average person 11 weeks, some have found it takes half the length of the relationship itself, some have found it takes longer if it was a marriage that ended. But don’t wait until you’re completely over it to get out there—because getting out there can help you get over it.
Q: In the era of online dating, how do you navigate the people who think the grass will always be greener and have difficulty committing to truly building a relationship?
A: Cock rings are made from all sorts of different materials, and it’s important to find the material (rubber, metal, leather) and fit (snug but not too tight) that works for you. I definitely think you should experiment a bit before giving up—cock rings are great. And, hey, did you know there’s a Wiki page with a lot of good info about cock rings? (Wikipedia.org/wiki/cock_ring.)
A: By not moving in with him, by not having kids with him, and by not continuing to partner with him.
