QYesterday I found my five-year-old son putting things up his butt in the bath. This isn’t the first time—and it’s not just a “Hey! There’s a hole here! Let’s put things in there!” kind of thing. The little dude was rocking quite the stiffy while he did it. I’m well aware of how sexual kids can be (I freaking was!), although I wasn’t quite expecting to be catching him exploring anal at this young age. I want to avoid a trip to the emergency room to extract a toy car or whatever else from his rear end, and I don’t want to see him damage himself. So do you have any suggestions of what I can give him as a butt toy? Yes, I am serious, and no, I’m not molesting him. I know he’s going to do this on his own with or without my knowing, and I want him to be safe! Just today, he proudly showed me a toy car that he stuck up his butt. I told him that it wasn’t a good idea due to the sharp bits on it, and while he may have gotten this one out, one could get stuck and then we would have to go to the hospital. Help! —Helping Ingenious Son Make Other Moves
And while adults who are into butt play are (or should be) proactive and conscientious about hygiene, grubby little five-year-olds aren’t particularly proactive or conscientious about hygiene—or anything else. You don’t want his hands and toys smeared with more fecal matter than is typical for the hands and toys of most five-year-olds.
AThere’s nothing about preferring—even requiring—a particular set of genitalia that will result in your being stripped of your trans ally status, NAA. The issue is adding a few words to your profile (“no trans women”) that might spare you from the horrors of having coffee with one or two trans women over the course of your dating life but that will definitely make every trans woman who sees your profile feel like shit. The world is already an intensely hostile, unwelcoming place for trans people. Why would someone who considers himself (or herself, in the case of CIS) an ally want to make the world more hostile and unwelcoming? Awkwardness and “wasted” coffee dates are built into the online-dating experience. Trans women who haven’t had bottom surgery aren’t going to spring their dicks on you—they’ll almost always disclose before it gets to that point—and you’re not obligated to sleep with anyone you don’t find attractive.
