Q: As you can see by my signature, Dan, I’m a linguist. On your podcast you frequently ask researchers “whatchyougot” on all kinds of sex- and romance-related questions. I thought maybe you’d be interested in some expertise on linguistic matters too. And I have some on “cum,” “cumming,” and (shudder) “cummed.”
A: Thank you for taking the time to write, Professor Newman, and please forgive me for peeving you. But the sticky issue for me—if you’ll pardon the expression—remains the seemingly unnecessary and arbitrary use of an alternate spelling in this one instance. As I’ve said before, no one is confused when someone calls a person a “dick” in print and then goes on to wax poetic about the dick they sucked in the next sentence. If we don’t have to spell it “dik” when we’re referring to male genitalia—or the genitals of penis-havers—I don’t see why “come” needs to be spelled “cum” when referring to someone climaxing or when referring to ejaculate. Of all the words out there with more than one meaning—dick, dong, cock, pussy, beaver, box, crack, rack, sack—why does this one require special linguistic treatment?
Q: I’ve been a copy editor for 15 years and a Savage Love reader for much longer. I wanted to chime in on fellow Canadian COME’s letter about the “come” vs “cum” spelling. I fully agree that as a verb, it should be “come” and “came/coming” instead of “cummed/cumming.” But there is a place for “cum”: as a noun when referring to the actual gooey substance (aka semen, ejaculate, spunk, etc). Consider the sentence, “I have come in my mouth.” Are you announcing an act of autofellatio (talk about a cumblebrag!) or are you describing a substance someone else left behind? Or, “How did come get on my jacket?” Doesn’t that just look like a mistake? Millennials love turning nouns into verbs (adulting!) but I think using “come” as a noun is incorrect. And what about describing something as “cummy”? How would you spell that? Comy? Comey? Perhaps we can all come together on this: “come” for the verb of achieving orgasm; “cum” for the noun that describes the resulting emission. —Copyeditor Uses Modification For A Noun
