Q: I’m a 35-year-old woman. I recently discovered I’m a size queen. (Is it OK for me to use this term?) This has been brewing for a while as I have dabbled with purchasing larger and larger cucumbers and fucking myself with them after a good wash. I use a condom and tons of lube and it’s been amazing. Are there any safety or health concerns I should be aware of? I’m moving away from fucking produce and purchased my first sizeable toy. I see safety tips online for men who like large toys in their butts, but I wanted to know if there is anything I should be aware of as a vagina-haver. I mainly partner with men but am expanding to date women, and I’ve been fisted only once by a woman and absolutely loved it. —Finding I Lately Love Enormous Dildos
Q: My husband and I recently watched the fantastic 70s porn Alice in Wonderland: An X-rated Musical Fantasy (we got to it by watching Meatballs). It was everything I’ve ever wanted in a porn. Perhaps you or your readers could recommend something similar to put in our rotation? —Likes To Watch
A: The butt plug you’re using is too small. Like other recovering tops before you, EXTOP, you made the mistake of purchasing a small plug because you didn’t think your ass could handle a medium or large one. But butt plugs are held in place after the widest part slides all the way into your ass, past your anal sphincters, and then your sphincters close around the neck of the plug, aka the narrow part before the flared base. But if the wide part isn’t much wider than the narrow part—if you bought a plug that looks more like a finger than a lava lamp—then the anal sphincters will push the plug back out. Or, even worse, they’ll send the plug flying across the room when your sphincters contract at the moment of orgasm. Do yourself and your wallpaper a favor, EXTOP, and get yourself a bigger plug.
Download the Savage Lovecast at savagelovecast.com.
