Q: I’m a 24-year-old male, married three years, monogamous. My wife and I are religious and were both virgins when we got married. I’m sexually frustrated with two things. (1) How can I get her to give me oral sex? (She has never given, and I have never received, oral sex. I regularly give her oral sex.) She is afraid to try it, saying she’s not ready yet. About every six months, I bring it up and it leads to a fight. She is a germophobe, but I think she believes fellatio is done only in porn. (I used to look at porn, which nearly ended our then-dating relationship.) (2) I feel like I’m always giving and never receiving any type of affection: massages, kisses, caresses, you name it. It’s like having sex with a sex doll—no reciprocation. How do I broaden our sex life without making her feel like we’re in a porno? —Sexually Frustrated
Q: I’m a straight woman in my early 30s, and I just don’t like receiving oral sex. I love giving blow jobs and can orgasm from PIV sex, but I seem to be one of the few women who don’t enjoy guys going down on me. I’m not uncomfortable with it, but it just doesn’t get me off. I also get wet easily, so it’s not like I need it as foreplay. As I’ve gotten older, and the guys I sleep with have gotten older, it seems like most want to spend a great deal of time down there. I’ve tried being up-front about not liking it in general, but guys either get offended or double down and do it more because they assume I’ve never been with a guy who “could do it right.” Any ideas on how to handle this? —Needs Oral Preference Explainer
A: Your lovely, smart, funny boyfriend is a lousy, selfish lay, PISS, and you two aren’t sexually compatible. DTMFA.
