Q: My son is straight, cute, accomplished, 25, and has friends. He’s never been kissed. I suspect he’s terrified. I can’t talk to him about it. Should his dad talk to him? Should he go to a sex worker? Would this undermine his confidence?
Q: I am familiar with demisexuality—the idea that some people cannot develop a sexual relationship without an emotional or a romantic bond first—but what about the opposite phenomenon? I lose interest in people who get to know me and my desire to hook up is quickly replaced by a desire to just be acquaintances.
A: I’m so sorry for the loss of your father. I would advise you to take a deep breath—several dozen a day—and give it another year. Once you’re able to get a job and make some new friends you’ll gain some clarity. If things are good and you’re feeling more at home, great. Stay in the UK. But if you’re still miserable and full of doubt, well, then you might want to end the relationship and head home. In the meantime you’re going to wanna stay in therapy and make sure you’re using the most effective form of birth control you can get your hands on—which is available free from the UK’s National Health Service. (And I don’t want to be a downer here or tip the scales . . . but there’s no way to eliminate the risk of a relationship ending or failing after you’ve started a family. Or before you’ve started a family.) v
